This post was prompted by a brief twitter exchange this morning, when a good (and very sexy) friend of mine declared cheerfully that she was wearing extremely unglamorous pyjamas. The almost immediate reply from a lovely man was that glamorous was the opposite of sexy, which got me thinking….
Now, to put this in context, his example of glamour was Katie Price, who I admit I don’t find sexy, but then neither do I recall myself finding her glamorous at any point in time.
So, what really does make someone sexy?
When I think back over the people I’ve been attracted to in the past and who I find myself attracted to now, on the surface they have nothing in common – different hair colour, eye colour, height, build, education, background.
So what is it about them? What is it about them and what is it in my head which lifts someone out of the mass of humanity out there and marks them out as someone sexy?
For me, I think it’s a certain approach to life, an attitude, a confidence, an agility of thought, a certain amount of intelligence and the experience to apply it, a connection, and to some degree a meeting of minds. Of course, I’m shallow, so I would never claim that being sexy is completely cerebral: things like tone of voice, something about the eyes, nice shoulders, the way someone carries themself, it all makes a difference, even before I get to listening to what they say.
But of course unless we’re talking about a remote crush on say Robert Pattison in the Twilight Saga actually finding someone sexy in practice means spending time with them. And there is nothing less sexy than being bored by someone.
We all gravitate towards those similar to us, which for me tends to mean a certain amount of hedonism in the form of nice wine and good food in the equation while I get to know someone. Personally, I think a love of good food and wine and a willingness to try new things goes hand in hand with sensuality, but that may just be me.
And there is something about someone who takes care over their appearance, not because they are worried about what other people think, or because they think they might fall short. Rather, because they want to make an effort to look good, and because they enjoy the process of dressing up, whether that means looking the part or setting out to make a statement or simply to do something a bit different.
So, for me glamour is sexy, and for me it conjours up images of 50s movie stars and burlesque dancers, the Follies Berger and the like, rather than Victoria Beckham or Katie Price.
So those are a few of the things which do it for me. Obviously I haven’t really answered any questions: what do you think?