It really was quite a year….a musing

I should have known the temptation to write a ‘passing year’ blog would overtake me.  But then I also succumbed to watching most of Mama Mia this evening despite my better judgement and the fact that I knew some bits would make me cry – it’s just been one of those days.

But I can’t help looking back at just a selection of the things which have happened to me (quite a number of which were instigated by me) in 2011.

A new job, saying goodbye to a lot of good friends. Meeting lots of new people, wondering if I’ll ever have the same closeness with people here as I do with some of the people who may be reading this. Trying to stay in touch with the people who matter. Wondering if I’ll ever fit in. Wondering if I’ll ever be able to have the level of openness with new friends as I do with some of the old. Failing to sell the old house and wondering if I’ll ever be able to afford another one. Wondering whether the distance will be the final straw in some very precious but complex relationships and finding it hasn’t quite been the end – thank goodness. Surviving the new firm going into administration and wondering how it’s all going to work out.  Loving living in the countryside, but wishing I had a teleport (or a crash pad in town for nights out). Missing burlesque and the buzz of the last train home after a late night out in London. Getting used to working for a smaller firm and becoming even more certain that I’d be totally lost trying to work for myself. Being thankful and slightly humbled by how lucky I am. Wondering what I really do want from life, and whether that’s really the question I should be asking myself. And really, much, much more….so much more.

So, to all of you who’ve been there in some way, whether you’re one of the ones who’ve seen me all through this, or just a casual dropper in to this blog or twitter, thank you for your part in the last 12 months. I’ve survived, and for the most part come out smiling. And I know there are people who care about me. Who can really ask for more?

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