And we have another chapter in the depression saga, hopefully something more positive for those of you who’ve hung in there over the last few months.
The tablets have started to work. It’s really quite curious: one day I was plodding along under a black cloud, feeling slightly spacey from the antidepressants but trying to pretend everything was OK to the world at large, and the next, I woke up feeling almost…normal.
I’m so used to assuming that my feelings, moods, reactions and emotions are part of me, it was a huge surprise that just taking one small tablet a day could so greatly affect my perception of the world around me. The way I’m relating to people has changed, the way that I receive news and understand information has changed.
It just brings home the fact that we are all a collection of chemicals, neurons and impulses. But it does make me wonder, are we really autonomous beings? Or just creatures guided by our instincts who thing we have a purpose? Do we really have free will and what does that mean anyway?
So perhaps the tablets have sent my brain slightly too far away from the reality of day to day life and slightly into space. I’m hopeful that I’m just on my way back to an even keel 😉