The story of a 9-day detox (days 1 & 2 so far)


“Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow ye diet. ~Lewis C. Henry”


So, after more than a decade of vehemently not dieting, I decided enough was enough. Now that I’m over 40 and driving rather than doing the full London commute, I really need a bit of a lifestyle change to ensure my corsets keep fitting just so…not to mention my new stretch jeans 🙂

I know from past experience that trying to “cut down a bit” or avoid wine for long periods of time is almost certainly doomed to failure…

So, what to do? I’ve always shied away from the idea of meal replacement regimes on the basis that we are engineered to eat food, not chemicals. But I do need something which requires as little thought as possible on my part and which helps me to rethink all my bad habits.

A friend of mine recently lost the last of her post-baby weight (and I do mean the very last 5 pounds she had to lose) by doing the Forever Living Clean 9 programme.  Having bought into some of her propaganda I accepted that it’s made as far as possible from natural ingredients and having identified a 9-day stretch without too many social engagements or trips away I thought I might as well give it a go.  It helped that I have a wedding to go to at the end of the month with lots of ex-colleagues so it would be good to turn up in a perfectly-fitting corset 😉

And after all, it’s only 9 days.  I’m not committing to give up wine & coffee for the next 2 years. 

Of course, I don’t tend to do things by halves so I’ve signed up for a boot camp in September to keep me on the straight and narrow afterwards.  I’m sure there will be a story or two to come on that later.

For the time being, however, here is the story of the detox so far:

Day 1:

I read the leaflet approximately 50 times as I completely forgot everything I’d read as soon as I put it down.

Basically, it revolves around aloe vera gel, shakes, bee pollen tablets and (from day 3) 1 light meal. a day. No caffeine, alcohol or refined sugar but otherwise the meal can be pretty much what you want.  There’s also a diet supplement of the kind I’ve been suspicious for so long which claims to speed up weight loss provided you also eat a low-calorie diet. Hmmm.

I still haven’t worked out why the bee pollen tablets are so important, apparently they give you energy. If nothing else, they should at least keep the hay fever at bay.

So far, so cynical.

First, the weighing and measuring as I decided the only way to do this is completely by the book – results not much worse than I expected.  That’s all I’m saying.

Breakfast on day 1 was diet capsules, aloe vera gel and plenty of water, with a reminder to do some exercise. I must admit I went back to sleep for a bit before the exercise.

Badged as a snack is bee pollen tablets mid-morning. I was really surprised to find I didn’t wake up hungry from my lie-in and had a late-ish “lunch” of diet capsules, aloe vera gel, water (there’s a theme developing here) vanilla milk shake and bee pollen tablets.

The milk shake was really quite pleasant. And I still didn’t feel hungry, but gosh it’s boring not eating proper food.  It’s possible that this detox might also cure me of my addiction to Come Dine with Me. And other cookery and food programmes. Having said that, I’m watching Sunday Brunch at the moment…

It was really quite refreshing last night not having to do anything in the way of food preparation or cooking, but really, really boring. I’m already planning what to eat for my one proper meal tomorrow.  I also had to turn down an invite to a barbeque next door…didn’t think they’d leave me alone until I had a burger and glass of wine in my hand. I have completely forgotten how to socially navigate that kind of situation.

Perhaps because of the absence of wine and carbs, I didn’t feel sleepy in the evening and stayed up until after midnight.

Then I slept really rather far, so good.

Day 2:

I woke up feeling really, really hungry and slightly concerned that it might just get worse as the day went on. But that has faded. Am determined to do this properly, even if it does mean absenting myself from a family picnic this afternoon. Too, too much temptation.

Still, back on the aloe vera gel, water, bee pollen tablets etc. and feeling fine. Will be glad to get to the lunchtime milkshake which isn’t something I ever thought I’d find myself saying. Luckily I have plenty of distraction planned this afternoon/evening with a good friend.  That may well be the subject of a separate blog…



“Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.  ~Author Unknown”



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