So, it’s mental health day today.
By coincidence, I decided on a whim to announce today that I’m cutting back on the tablets.
I started taking the anti-depressants in March, a little while after things got rather too much – the urge to drive at speed into walls was rather too persistent and too strong for comfort.
And life had become rather too uncomfortably chaotic. Work was really not…working.
So, 7 months into taking the tablets, things are much calmer. Minor hiccups don’t send me into a complete tailspin or disaster scenario. Only occasionally, anyway.
This is largely due to the tablets. But also in part due to the time I’ve spent with my therapist. And the resulting changes.
The tablets definitely helped me calm down, and got me out of some of the unhelpful patterns I was in.
Without the tablets, I really couldn’t have carried on with day to day life. I couldn’t cope with work, home or relationships and my reasoning was becoming more and more chaotic.
Looking back I can’t quite grasp how bad it was. Just glimpses of some of the more dreadful moments.
My lovely therapist specialises in Neuro-linguistic programming and hypnosis. I couldn’t handle the usual talking cure, going over problems, talking about my failings etc. Her approach is to focus on the good stuff, build my confidence and then home in like a heat-seeking missile to the things I need to be doing differently.
Since I started seeing her, I’ve:
– made more friends locally
– set up a part-time business
– gone part-time at work
– started eating more healthily
– started going regularly (although not frequently, I must admit) to the gym…and a few other things probably not for this particular blog 😉
There’s still a little way to go, but on Saturday she persuaded me that I’d managed to do these things, not the tablets.
She also explained about the fact that SSRI’s stop the natural production of serotonin, which I hadn’t appreciated before.
She also persuaded me that I had enough good things going on, that I could produce enough serotonin myself to replace the action of the tablets. I was partly convinced…
I wasn’t quite brave enough to stop straight off, so I’ve tried cutting back to start with. Am hoping the over-eating stops asap. The other withdrawal symptoms have been manageable so far, but I developed an undeniable craving for buttered crumpets yesterday.
To anyone else on the same road, be kind to yourself. Take it one step at a time and be proud of what you’ve done so far.
Thank you to everyone who’s been supportive so far…will let you know how it goes 🙂 xxx